Birth

Accident

An

of

A Story of Adoption and Lost Identity

by T. Alex Blum

WHAT IF I HAD KNOWN AT THE BEGINNING THAT I WAS LOST, ABANDONED, LIVING WITH STRANGERS DISGUISED AS PARENTS, PEOPLE WHO AREN’T YOUR TRIBE, WHO DON’T SMELL RIGHT, WHO CAN’T COMFORT YOU JUST BY BEING THEMSELVES.

“there is only one sin beyond forgiveness, and that is fear of a code - to fail someone who needs you, to starve someone of love because you fear to offend against the code - that’s a mortal sin.”

Birth Mother
Emily Stanton
“Lee”

“you never come to terms with yourself again — never.”

Birth Mother
Emily “Lee” Adams Hart

THE YOUNG WOMAN WHO WROTE THAT NOTE IN 1955, PREGNANT AND UNMARRIED, GAVE UP HER CHILD AND FOUR MONTHS LATER I BECAME PART OF A FAMILY THAT WAS NOT HERS.

Birth Father
John Stanton

I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THE AFFAIR IN HER EARLY 20S, WITH A MARRIED MAN CLOSE TO TWICE HER AGE, HOW SHE WAS FORCED TO GIVE UP HER CHILD. EVEN THOUGH A SHORT TIME LATER HE LEFT HIS WIFE AND THEY WERE MARRIED.

Pete, Bill, Lee, Hank

Lee & John Stanton

WHEN YOU ARE ADOPTED, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE ADOPTED INTO COMFORTABLE CIRCUMSTANCES, YOU ARE CONSTANTLY TOLD HOW LUCKY YOU ARE. IF YOU FEEL ANYTHING OTHER THAN “LUCKY” AND “GRATEFUL” YOU FEEL GUILTY, UNGRATEFUL, AND UNWORTHY.

Adoptive Parents
Nancy Pierce Phelps
John A. Blum

Adoptive Mother
Nancy Pierce Phelps
Phelps Corners

MY ADOPTED MOTHER OFTEN REFERRED TO HERSELF AS THE LAST SURVIVING MEMBER OF THE PHELPS FAMILY, SO SHE WAS CARRYING THE WEIGHT, OR PERHAPS THE TORCH, FOR ALL THOSE GENERATIONS ON THE LAND, AND THE PLACE WAS HER DREAM AND ULTIMATELY HER OBSESSION.