Accident

An

of

Birth

A Story of Adoption and Identity

by T. Alex Blum

WHAT IF I HAD KNOWN AT THE BEGINNING THAT I WAS LOST, ABANDONED, LIVING WITH STRANGERS DISGUISED AS PARENTS, PEOPLE WHO AREN’T YOUR TRIBE, WHO DON’T SMELL RIGHT, WHO CAN’T COMFORT YOU JUST BY BEING THEMSELVES.

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. Handwritten note on a worn, stained piece of paper, describing a place where two or more dimensions and a coder are involved, and expressing a desire to share some experience or memory.

“there is only one sin beyond forgiveness, and that is fear of a code - to fail someone who needs you, to starve someone of love because you fear to offend against the code - that’s a mortal sin.”

Birth Mother
Emily Stanton
“Lee”

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. A worn, discolored piece of lined paper with handwritten cursive text that appears faded, with visible creases and some tears, especially on the upper and left edges.

“you never come to terms with yourself again — never.”

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. Black-and-white portrait of a woman with short wavy hair, wearing a light-colored blouse, looking slightly to her left.

Birth Mother
Emily “Lee” Adams Hart

THE YOUNG WOMAN WHO WROTE THAT NOTE IN 1955, PREGNANT AND UNMARRIED, GAVE UP HER CHILD AND FOUR MONTHS LATER I BECAME PART OF A FAMILY THAT WAS NOT HERS.

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. A black and white photo of a young man standing outdoors with his hands in his coat pockets, wearing a long coat and a collared shirt. There are trees and a large ladder-like structure in the background.

Birth Father
John Stanton

I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THE AFFAIR IN HER EARLY 20S, WITH A MARRIED MAN CLOSE TO TWICE HER AGE, HOW SHE WAS FORCED TO GIVE UP HER CHILD. EVEN THOUGH A SHORT TIME LATER HE LEFT HIS WIFE AND THEY WERE MARRIED.

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. Black and white photo of four people standing outdoors near a body of water, with three men dressed in formal suits and a woman in a dress, all smiling.

Pete, Bill, Lee, Hank

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. A black and white photo of a woman sitting at a table holding a baby, with a man standing next to her holding a young boy.

Lee & John Stanton

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. Two young men, one smiling at the camera and the other drinking a beverage from a glass, in a casual setting.

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. Black and white photo of a young child on a robotic toy with a surprised expression, standing indoors with bookshelves and framed pictures in the background.

WHEN YOU ARE ADOPTED, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE ADOPTED INTO COMFORTABLE CIRCUMSTANCES, YOU ARE CONSTANTLY TOLD HOW LUCKY YOU ARE. IF YOU FEEL ANYTHING OTHER THAN “LUCKY” AND “GRATEFUL” YOU FEEL GUILTY, UNGRATEFUL, AND UNWORTHY.

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. A black-and-white photo of a woman and a man standing outdoors, both dressed in suits. The woman wears a scarf, and the man has his hand in his pocket.

Adoptive Parents
Nancy Pierce Phelps
John A. Blum

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. Black and white photograph of a woman holding a cigarette near her mouth, wearing a patterned scarf and glasses.

Adoptive Mother
Nancy Pierce Phelps
Phelps Corners

MY ADOPTED MOTHER OFTEN REFERRED TO HERSELF AS THE LAST SURVIVING MEMBER OF THE PHELPS FAMILY, SO SHE WAS CARRYING THE WEIGHT, OR PERHAPS THE TORCH, FOR ALL THOSE GENERATIONS ON THE LAND, AND THE PLACE WAS HER DREAM AND ULTIMATELY HER OBSESSION.