Accident

An

of

Birth

A Story of Adoption and Identity

by T. Alex Blum

“WHAT IF I HAD KNOWN AT THE BEGINNING THAT I WAS LOST, ABANDONED, LIVING WITH STRANGERS DISGUISED AS PARENTS, PEOPLE WHO AREN’T YOUR TRIBE, WHO DON’T SMELL RIGHT, WHO CAN’T COMFORT YOU JUST BY BEING THEMSELVES.”

Publisher
UnCollected Press

“An entertaining, honest, sprawling account of growing up in the second half of the 20th century.”

— Kirkus Reviews

Coming May 12th!

REVIEWS

An extensive memoir chronicling one man’s American life.

Blum was born in 1955 and grew up on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. He was adopted at the age of four months, and his adoptive parents were well-to-do people about town: “It seemed like they were always dressing up in black tie to go somewhere, to a play, to Lincoln Center, or to a party, or a dinner”; they were not ones to “stay home and watch TV or play games with the kids.” He attended prestigious educational institutions like Choate and Pomfret. Times were changing, even at elite East Coast boarding schools, and the author had experiences with drugs—including an incident at Pomfret in which a good portion of the student population got sick from low-quality LSD. In 1970, when John Froines (one of the Chicago Seven) came to speak on campus, Blum describes the occasion as an expression of “inspiring, full-on left-wing radicalism.” The author went on to college in Wisconsin, a place where he engaged in “drinking, a fair amount of recreational drug taking, fraternities, football, and hockey.” After college, he embarked on a career in advertising. Advertising led to a foray in Hollywood, where he worked with director John Moore on producing the 2001 film Behind Enemy Lines. The author was 60 when he discovered that he had three biological brothers. Throughout the memoir, these siblings describe what was going on in their own lives at different periods, noting that their mother was an alcoholic who had difficulties with money. She had told them that their eldest brother had died in childbirth; she proved to be “a classic unreliable narrator, constantly telling made up stories and half-truths.”

As Blum charts his life story, he includes many detours. For instance, he notes that while he didn’t initially like the band the Eagles, they “did start to get interesting when success started to eat them up inside and their milieu became regret and loss of innocence and moral bankruptcy.” Discussing movie stars in modern cinema, he observes, “[T]he more famous they are, the more they have at stake because usually a movie is described in terms of the lead actors that are attached.” While such insights contribute to a full image of the author, they have a meandering quality—an extensive list of places that Blum has traveled to for work (“Milan, Rome, Barcelona, Beijing, Tokyo”) is later followed by a list of movies directed by Howard Zieff. Many of these tangents, such as descriptions of the author’s forays into learning jazz guitar, are not particularly thrilling; nevertheless, Blum has a distinctive sardonic tone and a compelling, often humorous personal story to share. The adoption material packs an emotional punch: Writing of his adoptive parents, he reflects, “‘We just wanted so much to have kids, and we couldn’t, so we decided to adopt, and that’s how we got you boys, and we were so happy, etc.’ was the kind of narrative you never heard from my parents.”

— Kirkus Reviews

Adopted in 1955, T. Alex Blum's memoir An Accident of Birth: A Story of Adoption and Identity describes a Manhattan upbringing by his adoptive parents, Nancy and John, who treat his adoption as a fact while keeping questions about his origins at a distance. At school, he learns the rules of an elite world, then sees his future rerouted after disciplinary hearings force him out of two preparatory campuses. He rebuilds his path at the University of Wisconsin, then enters advertising production, starting in Paris before returning to the United States, where commercial work opens a route toward filmmaking and shows how contracts can define a career. As his marriage to Mary Ann ends, his family life changes. An unexpected message arrives through DNA testing, pointing to a birth family story kept out of reach for decades.

T. Alex Blum's An Accident of Birth is an intelligent, witty, and frequently heartening look at Blum's life in raw, honest detail. This is not a memoir for the pearl-clutching crowd, as instances of sexual curiosity and the lines between consent are often breached, but everything is described in a relaxed, conversational tone. I appreciate that Blum does not spend time in a 'woe-is-me' funk, instead simply stating what is as opposed to leaning into philosophical exposition. Blum has had an extraordinary life, spilling over with grit and a fair share of loss, whether it is striking out on his own with a production company when earlier ventures failed, or sitting beside his mother during her illness and reading poetry aloud to her. Yes, there is the exciting dive into a life-changing discovery and the full extent of his birth family, but the most fascinating parts are when he is doing what the average American understands, like the impact of the financial crisis and having to sell personal items to make ends meet. Overall, this is an interesting, well-written memoir. Recommended.

— Asher Syed for Readers' Favorite

Silver badge with the text 'Readers' Favorite Five Stars,' featuring a central heart and book icon surrounded by stars and laurel branches.

An Accident of Birth is a striking retelling of a life rebuilt once long-hidden truths surface through DNA testing. Alex, our protagonist, is swept into the post–World War II Baby Scoop era, when the United States shifted infants from unwed mothers to “legitimate” couples as blank slates. He recounts growing up with distant, older adoptive parents while discovering, decades later, the vivid voices of his three biological brothers—raised together by Alex’s widowed mother. Their intertwined stories form a poignant portrait of American family life in the 1950s and ’60s. Despite the dislocation and longing that shaped his early years, Alex builds a successful career and loving family of his own, but he can’t shake the recurring sense that something is missing. His reunion brings both closure and revelation, illuminating the life that might have been. As a fellow adoptee who has known Alex for years, I read his story with an ache readers will recognize. But he’s OK now—and that’s what matters—because it was all just An Accident of Birth.

— Carolyn Hill-Bjerke
Poet, Things I Don’t Want to Talk About

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. Handwritten note on a worn, stained piece of paper, describing a place where two or more dimensions and a coder are involved, and expressing a desire to share some experience or memory.

“there is only one sin beyond forgiveness, and that is fear of a code - to fail someone who needs you, to starve someone of love because you fear to offend against the code - that’s a mortal sin.”

Birth Mother
Emily Stanton
“Lee”

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. A worn, discolored piece of lined paper with handwritten cursive text that appears faded, with visible creases and some tears, especially on the upper and left edges.

“you never come to terms with yourself again — never.”

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. Black-and-white portrait of a woman with short wavy hair, wearing a light-colored blouse, looking slightly to her left.

Birth Mother
Emily “Lee” Adams Hart

THE YOUNG WOMAN WHO WROTE THAT NOTE IN 1955, PREGNANT AND UNMARRIED, GAVE UP HER CHILD AND FOUR MONTHS LATER I BECAME PART OF A FAMILY THAT WAS NOT HERS.

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. A black and white photo of a young man standing outdoors with his hands in his coat pockets, wearing a long coat and a collared shirt. There are trees and a large ladder-like structure in the background.

Birth Father
John Stanton

I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THE AFFAIR IN HER EARLY 20S, WITH A MARRIED MAN CLOSE TO TWICE HER AGE, HOW SHE WAS FORCED TO GIVE UP HER CHILD. EVEN THOUGH A SHORT TIME LATER HE LEFT HIS WIFE AND THEY WERE MARRIED.

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. Black and white photo of four people standing outdoors near a body of water, with three men dressed in formal suits and a woman in a dress, all smiling.

Pete, Bill, Lee, Hank

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. A black and white photo of a woman sitting at a table holding a baby, with a man standing next to her holding a young boy.

Lee & John Stanton

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. Two young men, one smiling at the camera and the other drinking a beverage from a glass, in a casual setting.

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. Black and white photo of a young child on a robotic toy with a surprised expression, standing indoors with bookshelves and framed pictures in the background.

WHEN YOU ARE ADOPTED, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE ADOPTED INTO COMFORTABLE CIRCUMSTANCES, YOU ARE CONSTANTLY TOLD HOW LUCKY YOU ARE. IF YOU FEEL ANYTHING OTHER THAN “LUCKY” AND “GRATEFUL” YOU FEEL GUILTY, UNGRATEFUL, AND UNWORTHY.

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. A black-and-white photo of a woman and a man standing outdoors, both dressed in suits. The woman wears a scarf, and the man has his hand in his pocket.

Adoptive Parents
Nancy Pierce Phelps
John A. Blum

'An Accident of Birth' by T. Alex Blum. Black and white photograph of a woman holding a cigarette near her mouth, wearing a patterned scarf and glasses.

Adoptive Mother
Nancy Pierce Phelps
Phelps Corners

MY ADOPTED MOTHER OFTEN REFERRED TO HERSELF AS THE LAST SURVIVING MEMBER OF THE PHELPS FAMILY, SO SHE WAS CARRYING THE WEIGHT, OR PERHAPS THE TORCH, FOR ALL THOSE GENERATIONS ON THE LAND, AND THE PLACE WAS HER DREAM AND ULTIMATELY HER OBSESSION.